He and She

James Zhang and his wife wanted to know how Joe was managing without me. They were astounded when I told him Joe could clean house and is able to cook. Traditionally In China, these areas are the exclusive purview of women. From observations of younger colleagues, this may be changing, as it is in the US.

Chinese women attend university and almost all work outside the home, but are extremely deferential to men who are pampered and waited upon in the home. Chinese women remain girlish longer than we. They cultivate cuteness. Well into their twenties, they wear shirts with bows and bunny decals of the sort my daughter refused to wear by age 10.

Marital partners expect less individuality and privacy within the relationship here in China. They open each other's mail. They do not knock on the door when the partner is dressing. Earnings are always pooled-- there is no separation of bank accounts or other resources. Were one's partner to want a separate bank account, one could infer infidelity